Oxford nightlife aficionado and Somerville Entz Rep, Mo Iman, compares recent Labour leaders to nights out in Oxford.
As our beloved editor has
bullied asked me to write a piece for this amazing blog, let’s use my Entz experience to match our Labour leaders to Oxford nights out.
With a banger like Seven Nation Army and a sense of community so strongly related to him, Jezza can only really be a college bop – and not just any bop, he needs to be a banging college bop. I’m talking about bops like those at Catz, Wadham, or Somerville. Bops where college really bands together, and belts out songs late into the night before people help each other stagger into town. That’s a Jezza night out.
Eddy. We’ve grown to love you over the years you’ve been away from the front benches, but your leadership was under appreciated by the masses. For that reason, I’ve decided to give you the honour of being Foreplay Fridays at Plush. Cheap drinks, cheap entry and an overriding sense of cheerfulness that comes from the lighting and advertisements. Without a doubt, Ed has to be Foreplay Friday.
Working our way back, we’ve got our boyo Tony. As a man of the people and three time election winner, we have to give Tony a night of significant importance. His appeal to the masses, charming ways and good looks make for a popular man, suitable for a popular night out. For these reasons, I’m gonna give him Parkend Fuzzies Wednesdays as well as Bridge Thursdays. Both are great at times (see 1997 Tony) and very questionable at others (2001/2003 Blair).
Last, but by no means least, we come to Gordon. Hated by many, loved by few – it’s quite easy to give Gordon a night out, but I’m gonna give him a full nightclub instead: Emporium. With its quirky layout and stupidly placed stage, it reminds me of the classic electronic Gordon smile (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P_lpbLME84). Bless him, he did try hard and, if this was based on his chancellorship, I would probably have given him Parkend Wednesdays, a much greater honour.